


Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby

by tzingfung



Category: Band of Brothers, Generation Kill
Genre: A lot of music references, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Cryptid Hunting, Gen, Recreational Drug Use, Road Trips, Smoking, cheesy as all hell but whatever, hey a lot of swearing, small bits of horror, some heart to heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 22:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12735369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzingfung/pseuds/tzingfung
Summary: Brad Colbert and Ray Person have the summer off college and go on their road trip across America, going cryptid hunting, boozing, stargazing and eating so much their jean buttons burst. Along the way they meet someone with their only intention being  “to get the hell away from this place” his name is George Luz. All three of them go on a summer road trip of a lifetime they won’t soon forget.





	1. Ridin’ a steel horse out of Troy

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for sirens-in-the-beat-of-my-heart on tumblr who won a giveaway, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> The title is inspired by a song by Cigarette's After Sex.

The compilation of Lou Reed’s 70s old classics, came booming through the stereo. Brad was humming harmoniously to each song that came on. Ray who was on the opposite side of the dorm room, was flicking through an old edition of Babes & Motors magazine, while only lifting a finger through his packing.  
  
“Got the thing?” Ray suddenly asked.

“What thing?”

“You know the _thing_!”

There was a cascade of rummaging as they heard screaming and then giggling outside their dorm room in the corridor, it rocked the backing track of this sunny early summer’s afternoon.

It was the start of summer vacation at Troy University, and what of it? Just about the damn best fucking time for two guys, best pals at best, mutually disgusted at one another at worst, could look for.

Brad Colbert, a large hunk of a  man with a buzz cut of light blonde hair, was rummaging through his satchel, so were it a ridiculous sight when his head shorter of a friend, Ray Person asked him to get that thing. _Oh that thing._ He realised.

Nudging the trash of leftover condom rappers and what have you in his sock drawer he picked up a toy. No- not that kind.

“President shitface!” Ray screamed with glee and picked up the palm size teddy bear that rocked cool dark aviator shades.

“I can’t believe you still have that thing.”

“Look. Lucky charms are lucky charms, Brad. Think of all the bad luck you’d get for trashing something so lucky?”

Brad sighed and resumed his packing, used to his long time friend’s crazy shenanigans.

“Yeah… I don’t think that’s how it works.”

Ray just pouts and pats the toy gently on his small head.

“Don’t you worry, Mr President, I won’t let the bad man hurt you.” Ray whispers but Brad hears and sighs louder and  heavier, already exhausted.

 

It was their dream to end their last year of college right. ‘Right’ as in a big ass bang of mixing alcohol while they’re backpacking the back streets of Colorado’s mountains or something of the sort. Though they had a few different renditions as soon as they started officially planning months ago. Brad didn’t have the vaguest idea but that was the main appeal of it, a spontaneous trip all around the country and knocking down some doors of their suitors along the way. 

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“What?”

The car was packed and the sky was only slightly overcast by a dribble of limp clouds but the sun was fuming so brightly it became a wonder how they could find the car. Especially so as there were a lot of other students roaming about looking like a horde of zombies very much attempting the same thing, finding  a way to get the hell out of this place for summer.

Ray had one of his legs about to prop himself into the driver's seat and the other still dangling out beside the car door, before Brad interrupted by tapping his foot and resting his arm over the roof caving into Ray’s personal space. The usual method of his to get Ray to do what he wanted him to do. Breathe down his neck.

“Oh no. I’m driving, dude, no jokes, I’ve been waiting this long to feel the engine vibrating under my feet!”

“No.”

“Brad-” Ray gave him the rather distasteful puppy eyes, I mean come on has that ever worked in his favour?

Brad bit down on his lower lip deeply in a disbelief sneer. He ran his fingers through his hair before propping both of his arms up in defeat stepping back a few feet. “You know what? Fine, you caught me in a good mood.”

Ray punched the air and stuck his tongue out at his friend.

“But-”

Ray gulped anticipating some ghoulish trick under Brad’s sleeve.

“I’ll be on the wheel first shift, you take second, this is my truck after all.”

“Only because I lost the bet.”

The bet last night he meant, when they were playing poker, he lost practically everything including the truck.

Ray pouted as he nudged himself over reluctantly to the passenger seat.  
  
  


It wasn’t long ‘til Ray started twiddling with the radio, tuning into something that wasn’t so repugnant during their full on country run down for the summer.

“You know the rules." 

Ray ignored him and tuned into Ring of Fire mid-song.

“I said, you know the rules, Ray.”

“Oh Brad, _you_ know rules are made to be broken.”

The other man just stared him down, long enough to make the air coil with electricity and far too long enough for Ray who now felt antsy about him crashing headlong into deep traffic and still come out unmoved.

“Alright alright second win of the day, only because I’m too nice to you bro, too nice.”

Then the truck was radio silent again but the tires churned on the bumpy gravel road and the whoosh of the air as the fellow fleeting cars rolled by their open windows.

“You know, out of all my imaginings of this full shit show of a road trip this here, reality is most boring.” Ray yawned.

It was peaking to 4 pm and they had spent majority of the day packing and hammering about god knows what. They would spew lewd words at each other all day with nothing to mend it with, if it weren’t for their undeniable invisible bond they’d be beating each other with fists.

“Well, reality’s a shitshow, my friend.”

And with that Brad rummaged through his bag he propped in between the driver and passenger seats and brought out trail mix to snack on while they went forth to Georgia.

“You’re kidding me, right?” pointing at what his friend just magically produced out of his bag.

Brad just grunts, in response Ray tuts and takes out his own snacks: Milk Duds, Red Vines and a large bottle of Gatorade, in which, he shook in front of his companion.

“As tempting as that all looks, like _really_ tempting,” Brad rolled his eyes for sarcastic emphasis, “that’ll be a no from me, you’ll be having heart palpitations by the time we get to Virginia, if you, by any luck, make it there.”

Ray in defence and pure spite to prove Brad that he didn’t care for any fucks, grabbed a fistful of Milk Duds stuffing it into his mouth, washing it down with large gulps of Gatorade for dessert.

Small pieces of crumbs started littering onto his shirt and seat as he made his way through his meal.

“You’re a grade A fucking moron, Person.”

Ray smiles with pieces of chocolate littering out of his mouth and smeared to his teeth.

“And full of shit.”

 

It wasn’t long as soon as the sun dipped down into the horizon and the sky was a milky dark blue did they arrive to their destination. 

At this point the radio was crackling on and off as the reception grew poor, the radio presenter was setting off a mise-en-scène to an atmospheric mystery murder story, there was a lot of leery booming of SFX, his voice grew darker through the static and as he started to pull the plug of the start of the story, where there was a girl alone at a creek, Brad diffused the bomb by cutting the engine and it all grew silent once more.

“This it?”

Ray looked up unamused from his Babes & Motors magazine, one out of a dozen he brought that similarly replicated the other.

To suggest it was in fact, _It,_ Brad hustled out of the car that started to grow cold as did the engine and unloaded their bags for the night.

It was a shabby motel nothing stood out but the faded red neon lights that lit up the sign: _Georgia’s Motel Vacancy_

The air was rustling with a windy storm as they settled towards the welcome desk. Ray still glued to flicking through the pages of his magazine and Brad looking around the motel scrutinising it with his pitiful stare.

“It’ll do.” He mumbled under his breath as the manager with a feeble walk stumbled in to greet them.

“For two?” He picked out his toothpick and gunned them down with a point.

Brad simply nodded still feeling distasteful about the place but they- _he_ needed a break from driving and Ray’s upheave of bullshit spewing.

“We booked in advance.” He nods stiffly as he looked through his records on an old computer.

“Sign here.” The man had a dirty look, mustard stain for god knows how long had marked an impression on his shirt collar which was popped up like a 1950s greaser. His hair suggested the same idolisation as it was greased back and curled to the top, shining back the reflective bare bulb light dangling above him.

The manager waddled them through to the back where it was exempt from electricity, up the stairs, when straight away they were greeted with their room. That’s right, one singular room.

“I think you got it wrong, I booked two rooms, one for me and one for the other guy.” He thumbed at Ray who was now seesawing on his heels to his toes daydreaming.

“Nope.”

“What do you mean ‘nope’?” Ray suddenly piped up startling the other two into acknowledging his existence.

“We booked one night here way back in April, and considering it’s a riot of a fucking motel as in no one’s here that shouldn’t have been a problem.”

“Can’t lie to the records, kid.” The manager flicks a piece of food out of mouth with his toothpick successfully.  

As if it was all under his conditions, and there was no wading out of it,  he walked off expecting the subject was done and sorted.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Brad?”

Brad shrugs just as irked as his friend but he was dead ass tired to start anything and by the by it was getting late. If it was much to anything, Brad would rather stick to his plan on time to the T, rather than battling out who's wrong or right for a measly motel room for one night.

“Come on, let's just get some shuteye.”

They walked in dragging their now limp duffle bags but stopped short just beyond the threshold.

It so seemed the room had vomited a multitude of beige shades, the whole room was a stellar suite for a 70s sitcom starring two cops that just about had enough of their stakeout.

There was an unusual vintage Georgian touch throughout the theme that made the whole sense of it being a perpendicular nightmare featuring a 70s and an early 1900s mashup.

“There’s a TV.” Ray pointed out as if their whole existence was thrown off enough that an old static TV would be the only means of revival.

“At least there’s that.” Brad retired onto the only bed that was equipped in the room.

“Brad…”

“What?” The man in question was wincing against the pale light, feeling the sting in the deep depths of his irises.

“Bed. Off. Mine.”

“You walked into a time machine instead of a motel room? This is my bed, I called it the second I laid upon it’s soft yet springy mattress, you take the sofa, Mr Caveman.”

The sofa looked limp, even the small cushion with a crochet of a smiling cat looked stiff.

“Nah-uh. No way.”

Ray jumped onto the bed and laid next to Brad rummaging through a book that was left on the nightstand.

“Ray, I don’t mean anything by it except for I do… get your own fucking space. I don’t fucking care if it’s the floor just not here.”

“Cool it, macho, I’m just here for the ride- ‘til we both actually get some solid slumber.”

Brad had his hand to his head by this point but closed his eyes once more grumbling and rubbing his temples.

“Ooh boy, did you do your research first, Braddy boy?”

“Of the motel? Who needs to research a motel? Of course not, it’s a motel there’s nothing here but sleazy businessmen up to no good.”

Ray rolled to his side, a _get this_ gleeful look washed  his facial expressions.

“It’s haunted, B.”

“Oh bullcrap, you really believe in that stuff Ray, even that is below you.”

Ray threw his hands to his heart and an ‘o’ gripped his mouth.

“You sure about that? This is Georgia you heard the rumours Brad, tourists cross the fucking oceans to see it for themselves.”

He didn’t really care less, it didn’t mean anything, they were in an in and out process of this place anyway, there’s more exciting commodities to come in different states where they were going to properly stop at, this was just circumstantial.

Getting up he went to grab a beer they posted into the dying mini fridge moments earlier. “Ray, do me a favour and shut the hell up.”

Ray mimics a mime zipping up his mouth and dramatically tiptoeing to the sofa where he minded his own business reading up on the rest of the spooky facts of the area.

 

The clock was ticking rather obnoxiously battling against fly zapper just outside their cranked open window. The time was somewhere between 2:45 to 3:15 in the early quarters of the morning and Brad and Ray were respectively snoring away.

It wasn’t until Brad choked on his own breathing did he feel forceful nudge on the small of his back as  he slept on his side.

“Cut it, Person…” he mumbled only one foot in reality and the other still in a dream.

He felt it again but closer to the nape of his neck.

“I swear if you don’t fucking stop right now.”

He rolled to look at the other side of the bed beside him but Ray wasn’t there. He shot up and looked at the fuzzy haze that was the outline of Ray’s figure snoring obtrusively from the opposite side of the room.

“Ray… you still sleeping there, bud?”

He knew the answer but it didn’t flame out the fear that boiled deeply around his navel.

Brad wasn’t the scared easy type, by all means he’d still be munching through his popcorn unfazed as everyone else is jittered during a jump scare frenzy in a horror flick. And yet, it was clawing around 3 am, his head was moist with sweat and his mind a fuzzy mess, everything felt so disproportionate and as he told himself it was all bullshit and being awake at some ungodly hour plays all kinds of tricks on you, he still didn’t believe it hundred per cent.

Itching to throw the unquenchable fright aside that kept clawing up to his oesophagus, he ambled towards the bathroom, where the bright white light drained out any solace for shadows.

Attempting to wash away his illogical waking nightmares with something he flipped the tap on, where it was running fiercely into the sink with cold water he looked up into the mirror.

It might have been his eyes full bloom of black pupils he couldn’t quite tell if he really was awake yet or whether he was overthinking but it was the paling of his face that caught him off guard much to his dismay, it was the water running still, suddenly making a creaking noise before he looked back down to see the colour clear as it was to show the porcelain beneath now turn into a murky grey.

Brad quickly dislodged the tap to shut it off and heard his own heavy breathing prickled his ears, nothing else but the electricity running in the background took up the air. It felt empty, a pressure that needed to be filled with something. His panicking rose and he almost sped back up to his bed.

_You’re being stupid, outrageously, dumb as bricks stupid, get a hold of yourself._

And so tried, he pulled his duvet covers willingly over his head and attempted to sleep once more but time drooled menacingly and he felt his heart speeding down a runway.

He couldn’t remember when he allowed himself to let go but he thanked fucking god he did because he was able to feel the sleep succumb him with a little bit of consolation.

It was peaceful, a sleep that was mind numbing, no dreams but a blank slate. Until he was nudged again on his shoulder moments later.

“Fuck!!” He pounced up shielding his face, feeling his whole body drain from any warmth.

“Dude, it’s just me.”

Me was Ray, laughing his ass off semi-nude with his hair a mess and a toothbrush stuck between his lips.

“What got you shitting bricks this early in the morning?” Ray smirked enjoying this flavoursome drama of finally getting a one up on Brad.

“Oh shut it.” Brad finally relaxed, shoving a pillow over his head.

 

They left the place by eleven in the morning and Brad couldn’t be more pleased.

Ray minded his own business for the longest while in the truck, shoving pop tarts in his trap and humming to _Searching the Blue_. He allowed Brad to take over the music as they journeyed towards South Carolina for their official stop. He noticed Brad looking a little queasy all morning resembling a lot like the time he sleepwalked in their first year in college right down to sorority row and stripped teased. How he could have done that mid-sleep who the fuck knows but Ray busted him by recording it and holding it over him for a little bit of blackmail for months.

“You want a Combo’s cheese filled pretzel for breakfast, bro?”

“ _Nnrrgh_ , I’m not that hungry.”

Brad was fixated on the road ahead his eyes dilated and bloodshot sour apple red.

Ray put on a soft voice, the kind he only puts on when there was real danger between them, “You want me to take over there?”

He even put aside his food and started packing up his trash.

Brad side eyed him and realised that with a huge sigh that his friend was trying and it wasn’t a half bad idea that he’d get some real rest after the succubus that possessed him last night.

“Okay, yeah, sure, fine..”

They stopped on the side of the road, the storm had driven away through last night and now there was just a soft lit sky from the sun. The trees were burning bright green and there people roaming about the busy sides of the high street. In a way, it made everything a little less lonely until Brad stumbled out of the truck and in moments threw up on the sidewalk.

“There, there buddy.” Ray harshly whacked his back and then rubbed gently as his friend got it all out.

A mother and child walked by, the mother chastising with one stare alone.

“Ma ma, look!”

“Honey, dear leave these weird strangers alone.”

Ray shot a look making the mother step back a little and grabbing her daughter whole as they went off.

“Don’t mind them Brad, it ain’t like you’re shitting through both ends.”

Brad groaned, the qualm seesawing his mind and stomach, while Ray comforted him with little that he had.

 

Brad was now nursing his head remorsefully, shotgun while Ray shot down a mixture of caffeine pills and a shot of coffee right from the package.

“I’ll remember you at your funeral… in a few days time.” Brad only half joked. 

Ray hitched a shoulder as he rammed up the music.

“Hey yeah, ‘Ray Person was a great fucking pal when I needed him the most, just days ago when I was puking my fucking guts out between dog’s piss on a tree and a Denny’s in the wee hours of the morning.’”

Brad threw a skittle that was left deep in his seat at him and with ninja reflexes Ray swatted it away in one lightning move.

“You can’t get this piece of ass, Brad!” spanking his rear end with might.

Ray now had the rights to the radio, to Brad’s dismay but he still felt deflated to argue. The car was now radiating a sunny daze of light as they drove towards the sun.

“ _Ain't had a drink and I'm tore up_  
_Ain't even had a taste of your love_  
_But girl the crazy thing is_ _  
_ We're just getting warmed up.”

Ray ran through the lyrics, vocals channelling his inner Nashville Bluebird singer.

Brad leaned his head out the window allowing the whipping of the air full of mixed smells wafting into his direction, his eyes closed and it was somewhat peaceful until the usual shithole was the one who broke the spell.

“Well, well, well you look it here!” Ray pipes up through the booming of country music filling the truck.

Brad slid his body back to the seat and the sudden sounds made him feel like he was shuffling through a pipe.

“What, no wait, is that?”

“A peach!” Ray chimes in as he thumped his palm against the steering wheel in delight.

A large one at that, it was a spectacular sight if not irregular and out of place. The orange sphere shining against the dense summer light, smooth and round like a baby’s bottom.

“What is it?”

Ray started considering out loud, some stupid archaic phenomenons that made both of them chuckle. “You know a famous peach huge as fuck, the size of your head Brad, must have came running down the road one day mowing down some large lethal bank robbers.”

“Or, or!”

“You some kind of seal.” Brad interrupting with a hearty laugh taking over the music by far.

“Okay shut it, I mean imagine like some scientist coming up with gravity but a peach fell on his head-”

Brad roared making Ray upheave chocolate milk that he was drinking breaking a dam through his nose.

“You mean like that Isaac Newton?” Brad took a bite out of his own apple, threatening the attempt of choking on it as he laughed.

“Yeah but you know like South Carolina’s own version, their wives tale but Newton jumped ahead on the bandwagon making him popular instead, y’know?”

They discovered a little later that in fact the giant peach had nothing to do with killing a gang of robbers or even inventing the idea of gravity no it was-

“Just a water tower? _Lame_.”

But Brad interjected, “it works!”

“So what if it works, so what if it’s actually edible even! I bet my stories are far more radical and amazing than it’s OG.”

Brad lit a cigarette, shaking the remainder of Marlboro Red in its packet. The grey smoke ran through his nostrils and into the blasting air out of the window.

“We’re here, Ray.” He was cool and collected now feeling 30 degrees better than he did on the sidewalk hours back in the morning. He was back to his old damn self.

They had reached the shorefront of Myrtle beach by dusk fall and Brad would be lying if the dizzying lights of the pier and the business side of the shorefront didn’t ride a freight train, full of excitement through to his heart.

“Aw fuck yeah the beach!” Ray punched the air and howled. It was all that was expected after being cooped up in a car restricted to simply pumping gas and mild turns of the steering wheel.

The two made their direction to where crowds mostly stemmed into, attempting to find the source of the fuss.

“You know when I was a kid my mum, after two Jack’s down, would take me to the pier, fuck I know why but it was the only time she actually shut it about her reality show like problems, we’d get cotton candy and watch the waves in the ocean while I threw loose rocks from under my feet at the people down below.”

They leaned towards the barrier looking down below.

“Yeah I can fathom your pasty white ass being a bona fide jackass to all the families travelling all the way down to Myrtle on the last day of their kids summer vacation trying to have a good time and you’re just there, raging mama issues and a big ass god complex, ruining everything.”

“Hey, they had it better!”

“Don’t they always…” Brad trailed his wisdom as they reached the large Ferris Wheel.

“The tallest wheel they say, east of Mississippi River.”

They both looked up speculating all it’s glory.

“When I’m on it, I’ll believe it.”

And boy, did they.

Straight after, Ray’s stomach growled complaints, attracting everyone in the close proximity to stare at him, confused. So Brad took it as a chance for them to find som real food that becomes a rarity when they travel on the road.

“Not to be a pissin’ sap but this is the shit.” Brad prods his strawberry spinach salad then flipping back to his second dish of Mojito grilled chicken breast.

“You gonna eat something y’know more fucking manly there, Brad?”

Eyeing between his meal of beef nachos and a side of wings and then back to Brad’s meal with distaste.

“Ray, food’s food.” 

 

They spent the night parked near the sandy beach, sitting on the hood of Brad’s Levy truck drinking cans of cheap beer, smoking while the music stemmed out of from inside of the truck. 

They were near enough to the bonfire that a group of teens had been provoking so they soaked up the warmth and comforting array that transcended them into a dreamy glow.

“Could do with some South Park right now, shit would be nice to be playing the game too.”

“Thought you hated the game you said it was a rip off of it’s own show, whatever that means.”

“Hey, a guy can change his mind.” Ray crunched his now empty beer can with a metallic satisfaction to a pulp.

“Fine let’s go and do something.”

And before Ray could consider what Brad was up to, Brad walked up to the beach and then to the rough salty waves slicing in the ocean, and started stripping down to his boxers. As he pulled his leg out of his jeans, in his peripheral vision he saw Ray naked as the day he was born taking a nosedive straight into the pools of the open ocean.

“Fuck me, it’s freezing!”

“It is how it is.”

Brad laid on his back and allowed the cutting waves elapse his body whole, waking him up from his haze from the wistful smoke of the bonfire before.

He started to close his eyes where he heard it first before he felt it, a cold hard slap against his exposed abs piercing his ears, it made him jump to his feet. Shaking his head from the water, Ray was laughing as he sprayed Brad with more seawater cupping his hands together aiming and squeezing the water to Brad’s face.

“Je-” Brad started, slapping water back.

“-sus!” A Woman finished, she was with a blatantly tired and bored cop, both eyeing them from the shoreline.

“You kids skinny dipping… at this hour?” Cop remarked with a hand to the hip.

The woman beside him looked gobsmacked, “this hour, _this hour?_ You mean any hour, officer! I family lives near here, they wouldn’t-”

The cop held up his hand and like some bloody magic trick that Brad wished he could learn from him, she shut up in a heartbeat.

“Just… get out now and no one’s in trouble.”

The lady looked sour, looking very small at his side, boiling to release some of her chosen words.

Brad and Ray were still splashing water at one another violently making the cops ankles drenched with crisp of the salt water as they stumbled out. He grumbled and inwardly Brad smirks.

“Oh-!” The women had seen the full works before neither one of the men could cover up. She wasn’t the only one, the two friends heard jeers and cheering from around the beach that itself, was looking more and more populous.

As Brad straddled into his jeans and the echo of a wolf whistle reached his ears he raised his eyebrows and uttered to Ray, “maybe it’s time to leave after all.”

Ray cupped his hands over his mouth, “Come skinny dipping with us next time, hot stuff!” He winked as Brad flinched with a grin, jokingly punching his friend on his side as they made their way back to the car and back on the road.

 

“Fucking asshole.” Ray notched the radio a bar to listen in properly to the scandalous news.

“You really interested in that crap?”

The news beat was rambling about one of biggest Instagram stars hitting a downfall as a another porno gimmick was released. By now that sort of corny shit was old news to Brad. 2001 news. 

“Look. Brad come back to me in a few months when you discover you’re the baby daddy.”

“Wait.”

Ray was picking out from his cubicles unamused.

“You’re saying you’re ass went up and atom to West Coast to spread your little ugly genes to some…”

“Watch it.” Ray looked up appointed. “You got your views and I got mine but I took some ass whoopin’ to hide that shit for her sake not mine.”

“Don’t say that.”

“What?” Ray leaned his forearm on Brad’s shoulder as he drove and ushered, “ _ass whoopin’_?”

 

They have been driving for hours, when they met up with a community of small buildings and houses all bundled up and knitted together. Back to civilisation back on track. It was in the early hours of the morning when Brad’s fingers felt stiff against the steering wheel he half entertained the fact that his fingers would be stuck claw like for the rest of his life. 

Ray was having the worst of it, refusing by his own good to have any shut eye, not a promising thought to Brad who would like to swap goes with driving when they make stop in Massachusetts. Ray’s eyes were bloodshot red and there was a dodgy buzz to his composure.

He wouldn’t shut up through every breath he took around himself vaping, he was practically jacking off to the sound of his own voice.

“Ray I fucking swear…”

He punches the air out of Brad’s chest with his arm, Brad a little alarmed side eyed him ready to full on kick his ass.

“Brad, wait is that a road rat?”

_Road rat_ being a hitchhiker, god know’s why Ray had made so much shit up but Brad was accustomed to his crudeness by now.

“Let’s do something crazy and bring him into the pack, we sure as hell need an omega around here.”

Brad was undecided, but parked to the side of the road safely, nevertheless.

“Wait and who’s alpha?”

Ray was about to stick a thorn into the conversation when the door opened at the back.

“Hey pal,” Brad had his arms lazing about the side of his seat while Ray looked like a giddy puppy trying to corner a space to see through and catch a glimpse of the stranger.

“What’s your name?” Brad continued smiling blandly at the rear view mirror as the stranger’s reflection sat.

“George Luz… but you can just call me Luz.”


	2. A road to nowhere in particular, fast

“Where you headin’, Luz?” Brad turns his head towards the backseat.

Luz shuffled in his seat, debating whether he should come loose to the strangers.

“Anywhere. I’m… running away from home as it were, so yeah you know, if you two don’t mind it would be cool if I could go wherever you’re going.”

Ray and Brad glance at each other for a second before Brad had a fixed smile placed on his face.

Cocking his head to the side, “Alright, well we’re on a little road trip all the way back to Troy University all summer so if you’re, y’know, fine sticking around that long.”

Luz sighs a relief. “Hell yeah, that’s fine.”

“So how’d we know you’re not some serial killer or something?”   
  
“Well, I’m an excellent judge of character and I’m saying he’s A-Okay.” Ray dismissed it with a swat of a hand.   
  
“Wish I could say the same. Good at judging people at first glance I mean. Otherwise I’d won’t be here sitting next to one knuckle head but next to Betty Striver.”   
  
“Fuck Betty Striver.”   
  
“I’ve been trying, Ray.” Brad sighed nonchalantly.

Ray starts humming to  _ I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-to-Die _ as he plays around with the music.

Brad looks at him displeased, before he does a 90 degrees turn to Luz. 

“Fair warning, this guy,” he thumbs at Ray, “is into annoying country tunes and 00’s top hits, last chance to change your mind and get the hell out of here.”

Ray scrunches up his nose in distaste, “Tell me you haven’t broken a hip singing and dancing to  _ Fergalicious  _ in the shower because we’ve all been there.”

“No, Ray we really haven’t.” Brad sighs but winks at Luz who just shrugs and slaps Brad’s headrest.

“I don’t know about you boys but I’m ready for a ride.” 

 

At this point in the journey Brad finally got the rest and shuteye he felt he deserved since the beginning of their trip. They were running fast towards their next goal: Nevada with many pit stops to fill in the gaps. He needed some solid sleep as much as he could get at this point.

Ray was now driving while Luz was drumming his fingers against the dashboard distractedly against the beat of the music.

Until he shook himself out of his daydream watching the boxy skyline of Cleveland Ohio’s skyscrapers and what have you, breeze past their truck. 

“Florida Georgia Line, could you be more basic?”

Luz turns to switch the song but Ray slaps his hand.

“ _ The Music is Healing  _ especially through  _ Hell Raisin’ Heat of the Summer  _ and  _ God, Your Mama and Me  _ will be listenin’ to all their great hits all night long.”

Luz cringed at Ray’s attempt to reference each song title which was exactly what Ray wanted to do to get on his nerves. That’s a thing he always does to everyone.

“Please. Just stop already.”

But Ray grins ear to ear and starts going off singing to the top of his voice a perverted mashup of his favourite hits from the country band.

“Will you shut the fuck up?!”

“Make me.” Ray gives him a seductive wink before continuing.

They continued to argue and fight all the way to Nashville where Brad just shook his head, tired and fed up of it all, before suffocating his ears putting his jacket over his head to attempt sleep.

Even during Brad’s much needed shit break back in Kentucky at a gas station. He overheard them shout curses through the bleak bathroom door. It was enough to make a grudging biker slam the door to the bathroom and grumble under his breath about small guys having small problems to shout about.

But as soon as Brad stopped hearing them and ran back to the truck where the two, both sat in silence Brad was more alarmed than appreciated. 

He took over the steering wheel when Lou Reed’s Walk On Wild Side came on and Brad was looped back to the first day when they were setting up for this trip. Now the song seemed more solemn as the day hit early hours and the abandoned petrol station they parked in was flushed with bright pink and reds of sunrise.

“You guys having a bad acid trip or something, why so quiet all of a sudden?” 

Luz shook a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, dismissively. Looking out the window and sighing as the cold air rushed in as he reeled it open. “Life’s too short.”

Ray nods bleakly and Brad sucks his upper lip. Not sure what got them thinking so deeply, “Yeah…”

They sat in silence for a while letting the cold morning air reawaken their spirits, watching the sky flush with more bright fiery colours. Just absorbing it all in silence. 

 

“So,” Luz had his arms lying lazily on both of the front seats, edging himself closer to be heard over  _ Icky Thump, _ he reaches close to Brad’s ear at the driver’s seat. “This your Levy? I’d pin it down to Blake Shelton’s over there.” 

Brad grinned and snorted while Ray retorted.

“Hey! His music is terrible!”

“And yet the only reasonably good sound of Country music.” Luz falls back to leaning against his seat, shrugging. 

“Woah, holy shit…”

They all looked through the windshield to see the pouring of neon lights, large ambiguous signs and billboards, laughter tuning in and out of buildings as they drove quietly by, locals dressed in Stetsons holding guitars on their backs.

Then Ray nudged his foot in the breaks in front of Brad, making him and Luz slam forwards, swearing above it all.

“What the fuck Ray? What the actual flying fuck?!”

“Brad, I don’t ask a lot from you-“

“Your existence is high maintenance enough.”

“-but we’re in front of the Bluebird and I  _ have _ to go.” 

“The fuck we’re not. We have one rule around here and you already broken it the second we left college. Now you and your backwards brain want to fill the fucking evening with full-on country fuck palooza?”

“Hey let him have his fun.” Luz butts in but Brad gives him the hand that immediately silenced him.  _ Not your fight.  _

Ray slammed the door and gets out anyway, giving Brad the finger on his way out.

“Stop being a fucking drama queen and get the fuck in, we need to make a shit ton of hours to reach Nevada on time, it’s all scheduled out.”

“Fuck your dorky schedule, Brad, cut loose.”

Brad knew he couldn’t win especially when his friend was already slamming through the doors of the small cafe. He dreamt about ditching Ray on the side of the road majority of this trip but he complied thinking it can’t be  _ that _ bad. But oh god, two and a half hours later, with Luz seesawing from hysteric laughter to  _ I would rather fucking run into a busy road right now and take my chances. _ Brad would completely fucking agree.

As Brad tried to control his child- uh Ray, said child of his, volunteered to go on stage.

“Oh shit, what’s he up to?”

Brad closed his eyes, needless to say, he reached beyond his limit at this point. “Nothing good, that’s for sure.” 

It was open mic night so the stage was begging to be struck by some new born talent and all their glory, Ray Person was not one of them. 

As he started harmonising to  _ Ring of Fire  _ and gulping down large quantities of any old drink that passed by on the waitress's tray. The crowds already started to boo. One minute in and they were throwing food at him. But an unbothered brick wall he was, he kept forth. 

Brad slapped his palm to his forehead, while Luz was already on his way attempting to drag his new friend down and off the stage. 

Moments later all three of them were almost physically booted out of the front door.

“Go fuck yourselves.” Brad shouted back to the cheering as the crowd saw they were at the exit.

 

Luz now took over the driving as Ray was raving drunk and limp laying in the backseat and Brad was running on fumes of rage. 

After that their pit stops were short and dismissive here and there. They would eat somewhere just to get some solid warm grub in them and a few hours of sleepless nights at a cheap motel. 

Luz did most of the driving shifts then on en route to Nevada, he was quite an unshakable force. Out of the three, Brad noticed he slept the least, favoured moving about then sitting around, something to constantly to do, keep his mind busy.

It was pitch black outside probably 11 pm, they slept for the most of the day, now adjusted to crazy sleeping patterns.

Brad squints after his nap through the random streetlights that rinsed their car every now and then. He looks towards Luz who had some of Ray’s Ripped Fuel to keep awake throughout his shift.

“You okay there buddy?” Brad questioned him, a little tentatively 

Luz side eyed him for a second, “better than ever.” 

_ Lying through his teeth, I bet.  _ Brad thought.

Brad let out a hearty yawn and stretched feeling the gratifying pop of his spine. He decided to take the plunge into the deep end and ask Luz straight off the bat.

“So, you never told us why you had to leave home so quickly?”

Luz started rapping his knuckles against the steering wheel, a nervous tic. 

“Yeah, well didn’t really need to.” there's a bit of a pause before he resigned into a sigh, “I had to leave that place.”

“Summer vacay more like summer vacate the area, ammiright?!” Ray pipes up from the back and Brad gives him a warning stare then focused back on Luz.

“Did something… happen?” He was scared he was prying too much, dragging himself into a mix that Luz would rather be alone in.

Luz was still focusing on the road, licking his teeth canine to canine in contemplation. 

“I lost some really close friends there and that place just brings too many of those memories back.”

Brad now faced the front also, watching the road running beneath their feet.

“I get that.” His voice so small he didn’t think Luz would pick it up, but he did, he nodded and squeezed Brad’s shoulder in reassurance, in turn Brad pats his hand and smiled to himself. 

“We’re not alone in this fight, you know.”

Luz sucks in a breath in defeat, “yeah, I know.”

 

They swing up under a crooked sign only half lit up,  _ AlieInn “we come in peace” _ motel. 

The night was still relatively early. Party terms. As Brad checks his military precision watch against his written up timed schedule. 

“Cool, we have time before we meet up with the others.”

Their room had a gimmicky E.T. feel, merchandise littered each corner, nook and cranny amongst other decoratives that suggested it was for the odd tinfoil hat clientele.

“Didn’t think you guys were into all this hardy har har of Alien huntin’.”

Too tired to really explain himself Brad just remarks, “we all have our guilty pleasures, Luz” And grabbed in all its glory a blunt and half a bottle of Tullamore Dew Irish whisky.

“...or you guys like to take a hit.” 

Standing beside Luz, Ray slings over his arm resting on his shoulder casually as the two watched Brad light up his blunt and poured a shot of whisky for himself. They looked towards him as if he was a fascinating new creature found in his habitat on the Discovery channel. 

“Look, Brad here needs a little  _ something something _ to get a little more loose and  _ spicy  _ for when we do cool stuff like alien hunting!”

“ _ Spicy?... Alien hunting? Cool?”  _ Luz mouthed to himself confused but nevertheless went with the flow. “I guess this could be fun.” 

It was then Brad’s turn to get up close and personal with Luz, now slightly buzzed and en route to drunk and high as a kite he placed his arm around his neck like a vice and they fell upon the bed together side by side looking up at the ceiling where a UFO shaped mirror comically looked down on them on a tacky foiled bedspread. 

“It’s gonna be a fucking wreck, Luz, you watch!”

Luz just stared into his reflection as he took a piercing swig of whiskey and allowed the burning rush flush through his system.

 

Twenty minutes later they were amidst a dessert with a dozen or so others. Brad was now looking flushed in the face, smiling like an imbecile to himself but nevertheless overjoyed.

The others although enjoying each other’s company were utterly serious about the whole concept. They brought deck chairs, beer, started up a fire and even brought their own tales of how they interacted with extraterrestrials. 

“I had triplets with one.” One woman had must have retold the story a hundred times but still had an air of excitement to her tone.

“Some baby shower.” Ray nudges Luz who just shakes his head low in dismay but with a small humourless chuckle.

They all waited up all night chatting, waiting for a sign of life light up the ocean of sky.

“You seen a lot of movement?” Luz points to the sky talking to a few of the regulars and there were murmurs of agreement throughout the circle. He then looked back towards Ray who gave him a ludicrous laugh and a goofy smile which only heightened as they both noticed at the same time, Brad dancing in the dark behind the crowd, his shirt off, prancing in full ballet poses.

“What’s he doing?” Luz asks and he and Ray crack up, while the rest of the crowd make assumptions that extraterrestrial life had been trying to signal some communication through their friend and the word of dance.

 

“Can we go a little fucking slower please?” 

It was Brad’s turn to have a hangover in the backseat, nursing his head after each rock that fell loose under the car’s tires. 

“How about you don’t dictate how I drive, Brad, or should I say  _ fairy princess _ .”

Brad shoots Ray the death stare at the rear view mirror knowing he was looking into it too. 

“Nothing wrong with men being into ballet, Ray don’t be a fucking dick.”

They were about halfway through their journey from Nevada to Utah. Brad slept throughout majority of it and as soon as he woke up Luz and Ray couldn’t help but crack up, after furiously profusely asking them what the hell was wrong, then learning, Brad groaned at his late night shenanigans.  _ Never again. _ He thought but there was always an  _ again. _

“You guys like to do some crazy shit.” Luz randomly remarked.

Ray slid on his aviator shades and chugged down a rinse of water and Rip Fuel. “Crazy good shit.” He corrected Luz. 

It wasn’t long after that they reached another gimmick of a motel. 

Ray slid down his shades slowly down his nose and looked at his friend in the backseat with a flaunt of revulsion, “Really Brad? First an alien themed motel and now  _ this _ ?” He made a weird gesture towards the sign, “a Bigfoot themed motel?”

“Why not go all out?”

They all dumped their stuff and dressed for the forest trip for the day. 

There was a typical mist that clung densely to the air, it gave enough to the atmosphere that made the three super pumped about their cryptid hunting. Each cracking open a beer they cheered the air and downed their drinks with a refreshing sigh. 

“Ah yeah, that hits the spot.” Luz sat on a nearby rock looking through his photographs he had taken so far from their trip. “So you two believe in all this shit?” He said not looking up.

“Nah.” Brad pulls down a pine tree branch, collecting the needles in his palm as the rest danced down to the grass. “It’s fun though, all this make believe I mean. Gets your head out of reality once in awhile, y’know?” 

Luz paused and looked up in the distance where he saw Ray balancing on a thin layer of heightened rocks beside a river with a viscous current. “Yeah…” 

“Hey guys! Come over!”

They both half run, half jog to Ray making sure they didn’t slip on any slippery rocks along the way as they got closer to the river. 

Once they were in earshot they noticed ray cleaning leaves away from a spot on the ground with a stick. 

“While you two were jerking each other off or whatever, I found something! They’d be naming me in all the papers soon enough, you wait boys.”

The other two looked at each other skeptically before looking around each side of Ray looking down at a large ominous footprint. 

“You did that.” Brad dismissed it at once but Ray shook his head violently. 

“The fuck? What do you take me for?”

“A jackass.” Brad came out so smoothly that Luz snorted and had to retract a few steps back to sort himself out.

“First of all, ouch, I’m right here you know!”

And just as smoothly again, “I wish you wasn’t.”

“Anyway,” Ray punched Brad on the bicep, “how could I make that when it’s all dry and set, god knows from how long ago?”

The two others checked and sure enough it was dry mud, cracked and could have been there for a day or so.

“Okay, so you’re off the the hook but it doesn’t mean-” 

Brad stopped in his tracks as looked up to see other footprints, the same kind leading out further and deeper into the forest. 

“You were saying?” Ray looked pretty smug about himself as he walked alongside the trail, following where it leads.

Brad was unsure now running after his friend.

Luz was still staring down at the first footprint before he realise, “hey guys, wait for me!” 

 

It became dusk soon enough and Brad’s little hype soon started to wear off. 

“Dude, maybe we should just turn back.”

Ray spun around so fast, he made Brad step back into Luz. “Wait wait, we’re almost there, I can feel it.”

Brad’s patience was wearing thin but he sped up to see for himself.

“Wait you hear that?”

Luz whispered from behind them. They turn to look at him about to question what he heard that was out of the ordinary when Ray felt something on his shoulder. He wiped it off dismissively, but felt it again, a tap. A cold shiver ran down his spine. He felt a hot cloud of air touch the back of his neck that made him jump around.

“HOLY SHIT.”

The other two looked away from each other in unison to see Ray and a seven foot walking and moving rug of a creature stared down at them.

Luz kicked it in the shins instinctively. Brad and Ray didn’t budge from their spots, utterly perplexed and confused with the scene unfolding before their eyes. 

The creature went down on all fours before Luz punched the creature majestically to the ground.

“Dude…” Ray held onto his shoulder, whether it was to balance himself as he felt light on his feet or in congratulations it was unclear but what he saw was pretty badass.

“Ow!”

Brad stepped forwards and stood beside Luz. 

“Did Bigfoot just express pain on a human level?” 

The creature took his big hairy arms away from his face and laced his fingers around his neck.

“What’s he doing?” Brad continued to question and seconds later his question was answered with arising gasps from all three of them.

“Woah, are you shitting me?” Ray was the first to speak again.

Under the hood was a man scruffy and pretty much looking pained.

“This some Scooby Doo shit right here.” Brad dragged his hand down his face.

Luz crouched down to look at the culprit in the eye, “get your kicks scaring some college kids or something?”

“Or something.” The man wiped blood from his nose. “Money makes the world go round, kid.”

“You get money for scaring college kids, dude we have no value! We’re college students, we haven’t got a penny to our name.” Ray protested indignantly. 

“You saying you got no penny?” Luz grinned to himself, probably an inside joke, the rest of the party simply dismissed. 

The man on the floor grinned and Ray on queue kicked dirt in his face. 

 

“That was- something.” Brad scratched his head leaning his elbow on the steering wheel and looking at his reflection in the rearview mirror. 

Ray was grouchy though, now sitting back in his original shotgun seat. Brad wavered a guess it was about the fact that the walking, talking carpet they just met wasn’t really Bigfoot or heck not even Chewy from Star Wars. 

“Ray…” Brad hoped the guy himself would feel the gaps as he usually does with subjective raving.

“You know? I’m not pissed that there was some sleazy guy dressed in the suit I’m pissed that this was our last full trip before we go home and I feel like we’re ending it off badly.”

“I don’t know, that was some drama, especially when the cops came and chewed off the creep’s head and we had to stay in the pouring rain as we were all questioned.  _ Fun times. _ ” 

“Oh come on,” Luz chirped in, interrupting the drastically melancholy that grew like a spider’s web in the atmosphere. “I know one more spot to round off this crazy ass trip, nicely.”

As Luz injured his hand beating the shit out of Bigfoot he sat in the back giving a very detailed route to his destination, making the Sat Nav run for its money.

They had planned quite a lot of pit stops and shorts stays all the way back to Troy but Luz’s spot wasn’t one of them, until now.

“Here?” Brad gave him a funny look but Luz smiled knowingly, patting him. 

“Hey, Just trust me, alright?” 

They all climb out of the car. It was pitch black and the middle of nowhere. Sure as hell, there was a small voice at the back of Brad’s mind screaming for attention. 

__ Get out.   
__  
Shit! He’s going into the trunk, I knew we shouldn’t have stopped at that convenience store right next to a gun shop. 

_ Why did we let him go grab our supplies alone, I mean who does that? _

Turns out Luz brought out a blanket and three bagfuls of food. 

He motioned them to follow and Brad nudged his crazy thoughts back to where they belong, back in the bullshit section of his thoughts.

“This looks like a good spot!” Luz called over as they followed. He opened up the blanket and spreads it out moments later once he was happy with the positioning, he poured the bags of food into piles onto the blanket and with a  _ thump!  _ Promptly seated himself beside the junk food, grabbing a smoke and a chocolate bar in one go.

Once he realised the two other guys were still statues in their place he beckons them enthusiastically. 

“Come on!” 

They do so, Brad still a little dazed at the scene. 

“What is this place and what are we doing here?” As he took a seat in between the two guys.

“It’s cheesy as shit but it’s a nice place to be, Cherry Springs that is. A great state park to stargaze in.”

“You’re right.” Picking up and slicing open the wrapper of a Baby Ruth. “It is cheesy.”

Ray looked up for the first time and was blown away by the million glitzy white stars that dotted the sky. 

“I don’t know, Brad, I mean look at this shit, I think this is a pretty good way to end our trip.”

Brad secretly agreed, smiling through bites of his chocolate bar.

Though he does admit, “We probably have a better chance of seeing aliens here.”

The other two agreed and chortled as they replayed a lot of dumb crap that happened throughout the trip.

There was a blissful silence before Luz broke it.

“We should do this together again sometimes.” 

Brad nudged his shoulder, “Don’t get sappy on me, kid. But yeah we should… what are you planning to do now, Luz?”

Luz took a long sip from his beer and laid back, facing the brightly lit sky, “I don’t know, stick with you guys until I annoy the shit out of you.” 

Ray scoffed, “You planned short there, you already annoy us.” 

They laughed, “Ray, you’ll always be my number one jackass just know that.” Brad smirked and the night echoed with their laughter.

Brad laid back on the blanket joining the other two, feeling the happiness spoil him. 

_ “To be honest, our trip has been pretty fucking ninja.” _

 


End file.
